I sometimes dissect meanings of words to lead to some interesting viewpoints. Growing up is one that leads particular credence this season for me. It is my way of processing what happens as God unfolds love in my life. And this Thanksgiving holiday, I am grateful for the grace and insight of this phrase and where it has lead me to.
Growing up sometimes connotes what parents say to their children or what I have said about a past boyfriend. It can seem condescending or mean depending on the tone it is said in or it just a matter of fact. But rarely from my experience has it meant something unequivocally positive.
Growing up can mean growing towards the heavens or expanding in a positive direction. Literally too we do grow up. But when it is meant for the inside...it can only mean a positive thing. We should always keep growing up..our soul, mind and heart expanding upwards towards infinity.
We all hold on to things and people out of fear and not love. We sometimes depend on parents long after we should depend on ourselves. We grasp and insist on our own way. Often those who claim to love us or that we claim to love the most choose their/our needs and wants over our beloveds. Those who claim to be in relationship will choose what they deem they want without consulting you in crisis moments. We or they too will recoil and withdraw in the face of that abandonment.
And its those times you realize both you and your beloved need to grow up. And sometimes it is apart and sometimes it is in relationship.
The guide should be love. Is it more loving to pull away or more loving to pull towards. Which choice will facilitate both parties growing up? If we pull towards family when they reject us or our beloved is that the most loving choice for both?
Will that allow you and the family member to grow up? It is hard to tease fear out of love but we must because it is by that purifying fire that we do indeed grow up and hopefully grow up in love.
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