Sunday, December 8, 2024

New Beginnings

This is the second week of advent 2024. This year has seen a sea of change for me both professionally and personally. And I ask new questions now, and some of the answers have taken time and others have not been answered. Patience is easier when you finally have seen God work things out enough times that you have faith that God works things out to the next steps and in the end. I actually find joy in asking questions now. It is as if I am discovering myself for the first time.  

Professionally,  Acting was always a bit of a reluctant call. Love the art but am afraid of the unknown and of my own judgement. Acting is such a personal art and it is collaborative. That collaboration with people who were unfamiliar was a challenge for me. Before I would take almost any job in the field and now after hitting a milestone professionally and moving away from  LA, I can no longer do that. I am more discerning and honest with myself. What lies ahead depends on how I answer the questions I am asking myself and God. 

Personally both in friendship and romance--I reflect a lot more when I feel disrespected or in low priority.  Oftentimes, silence has the answers that words can not provide. The decisions take time but they do come. In new relationships--I take my time and discern and when I choose to respond--I have been gifted the grace to do so chartiably. Being honest with yourself is not easy. Eventually. operating on fear becomes a non productive habit. 

The fruit of all of this has mainly pleasant aspects now. The pleasant is peace, patience, joy and humility and the unpleasant is unexplained loneliness at times. The process to get here involved struggle, detachment, feeling stuck, fighting myself and anger. Growth is never easy but it is worth it. The miracle that comes is when the doors finally open and the past doors finally close. It is at once unexpected and a great relief.  Place holders are removed and you finally feel yourself moving forward. 

The one gift that I have been graced with is intuition and trusting that that comes when it comes. Listening to it is always the way forward.  As the Advent season progresses, I find my calendar full with good choices. FOMO only applies to the stock market. :-) But with every new struggle..I will find that answer. The struggle is a new opportunity for growth.  

This season of Advent is teaching me that some old traditions are good and some no longer feed the season. It teaches me that Jesus is not the same or stagnant even in celebrating his birth year in and year out.  He is always waiting and welcoming us to New Beginnings.

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